The Underpants Sniffer: Part 2

By Marvin The Masturbating Monkey

Editor’s Note: For Part 1, please visit the website and look in Issue Two. It’ll still be called “The Underpants Sniffer” – we’re not in a deceptive mood – but it will be Part 1 instead of Part 2. We suggest reading that first. And if you’re going to be a fucking crybaby saying “Oh, but I can’t navigate the World Wide Web”, here’s the damn link. Just click on it , and be whisked away to the land of Underpants Sniffing, Part One!

The Underpants Sniffer: Part 1

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Part 2

Without much dallying Joseph flipped over the mattress. Darn, nothing there. He’d dropped it down and averted his gaze when his eye saw something poking out of the straw on the far end of the mattress. Joseph flipped the bed back over and pulled what turned out to be a card from beneath the reeds. He reeled with shock. There was no denying what this was. Itzik was posing with some half-Jewish, half-Polish girl, his hand squeezing one of her bosoms and her hand between his legs. Itzik had his brown hair combed back. His spectacles were delicately perched on his nose.

The girl wore a beret. Her lips were painted, and her face had also been smeared with demonic feminine rouge. When was the photograph taken? There could be no mistake what was happening. Itzik Khovski knew this girl, whenever they managed to see each other they sinned and while he was back in their school, The Institute of Higher Learning, he used this photograph to remind himself of the encounter and with which to debase himself repeatedly.

Joseph expected to feel horror, anger or hatred toward Itzik, but a different emotion altogether was welling up within him. He saw how young and handsome Itzik was. His sweet dark eyes, his kind smile, and the woman, this whore, was working her black magic, for between his own legs, his rod, no, the appendage honored with upholding the covenant of the Lord, was throbbing. Sensation was flooding out from the testicles and dear he even think the word, penis, and filling him with a lust he’d never known. Joseph pleaded with his penis to go back down. He had no desire to go on with this. Why was he giving in to this defilement? Why was he in the grasps of Satan? It seemed that nothing could be done. He tried putting down the picture, but could not. He ought to just run to Wolfe and hand it to him, having his father take it off his hands. But he couldn’t move. His legs would not obey.


Joseph felt his hand reaching down, unbuttoning his fly and taking his pecker in his hand. Joseph looked down. He needed to rub his eyes. Since when had his shmeckle been this large? This would be his punishment. Everybody would know what happened. But yet he couldn’t stop. It was like instinct had taken over. Joseph began rubbing the length of his shaft and the sensations issuing forth threatened to make his heart explode. “Oy, oy,” he began to howl. “Aah, uuh, ooh,” he continued in ecstasy.

Joseph’s wailing sounded through the dormitory. Lucky for him no one was there. Across the courtyard in the study hall the students were well into their first period. Wolfe lectured about the sphere of undifferentiated energy, far above the source of the constellations and zodiac, when suddenly he stopped short. He closed his eyes and turned his mind to the dormitory. Though mid-sentence he closed his book and walked out the door. The students were dumbfounded. Never before had they witnessed such behavior. Through the window they watched as Wolfe purposefully strode across the courtyard and up the short flight of steps to the dormitory.

Inside Itzik’s dorm room Joseph stood with his pants down at his knees, photograph in one hand, penis in the other, when the door suddenly opened and Wolfe’s shadow fell across the room.

(To Be Continued In The Next Issue …)